Rupture

There I drew the line delicately between the rags of an unfinished sympathy for the past and the unexpected surprises of the living present. I tend to leave my weaknesses and impotence behind. The lies I used to wear to appease my sleep will soon vanish and I will survive the threatening insomnia as long as it lasts. This not a defeat or an overthrow, it is a detachment. Not a punishment but an improvement. The sense of abandonment kills me but I think of the upcoming achievements. Therefore, I made an agreement and an assignment to abolish my bafflement.

It is certainly an amusement to burst the bubbles of my disappointments. The process of entombment and atonement. This change provides an excitement inspired by a source of illusions and wonderment. My rupture experiment is a field of recruitment of new elements to follow. It is for the past to swallow. The paragraph you are reading now is a witness and a part of my process. In addition to the gift offered by the mind that has the ability to forget, time shall make me forget.

The Nothing

Sometimes you sink into this deep vacuum of obsessions, trying to reach or achieve your dreams that you completely forget about the sweetness of doing nothing. 

When you think of all the inventors and artists that triumphed in history only after at least fifty years of their death… They have worked hard and focused on only one thing for years, trying to make it as perfect as they can. Shrunk in their loneliness, going mad over and over while trying to survive to people’s judgement, they never gave up unless health problems or death came on their way. 

Many names may flash now before your eyes. You would think of Gandhi, Marie Currie or Nelson Mandela… I’m thinking of Joseph Plateau, obsessed with light and movements, he kept fixing the sun for 25 seconds every day until he lost his eyesight. 

Thank you for your hard work.

Consider the words I wrote before as a eulogy and now think:

Was it worth the try? Should we base our lives upon some concrete purposes like they did? Are we as keen as them for changes? 

In this hectic life, I have a dream like you all do. But do I know what a dream means though? It must be that moment when I dwell between the bounded waters where life starts, tiresome ignites and the nothing resides. It is when my eyes go blind and my mind gains sight, when I see no difference between sunlight and moonlight. Only now I have the right to lay in the quiet, in a world all white that seems incomplete without you by my side. The sweet nothing is truly hard to find in a life where obsessions are tight, itching you like the needles of the pines. 

And we are never satisfied, even when we get to enjoy the nothing I was talking about. We then want to get back to the hectic life. So what is our existence all about?